Sin or Salvation?
Just as Susan learned not to pay attention to the “pieces,” she
learned to make her messiness work for, rather than against
her. She works better with a messy desk, so she lets her
desk be messy.
Keeping order takes so much time and energy for her that
she’d get almost nothing done, if she demanded that
she was “ready” and her space “neat” before
she began. Instead, she has notes on the backs of envelopes
and scrawled on magazines stacked around her as she begins
to write. And she has learned not to worry about missing
a piece of paper here or there. She has learned to tell
herself, “If it’s gone, it probably wasn’t
that important. If it was important, the paper it was written
on doesn’t matter. The idea is stored somewhere in
my head, even if I don’t know where now. It will
come to me when I need it.” And most of the time
it does. Or, she can look it up again later.
Before she begins working, Susan has too uncertain an
idea of what will turn out to be important to bother fussing
about a missing “bit” or two. She can’t
outline. The work will flow, if she lets it. And worrying
about order or neatness or missing bits when one works
this way is always a sure waste of time.